Who wouldn't like a town party...? Love letter "wide open"

WE DREAM OF TOWN FESTIVALS IN 2021...

In this 'strange' summer... of NO lockdown... but still not 100% "normal" either, we have rediscovered one of those plans that we took for granted and that, year after year, were burned into our retinas and livers: we deeply love and have missed the village festivals very much.

The street party. The Panorama Orchestra. The mobile disco. The liter bottles at their peak for €3 each…

If you have a "village" by right or one by adoption, you know what we're talking about..

ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF A GOOD TOWN FESTIVAL

Each patron saint festival has its own peculiarities, but to qualify as an authentic village festival, it must meet each and every one of the following requirements, in chronological order:

The screw. Whether it's football or any other real or imagined competition. Where the local team plays while still drunk and the visiting team from the next town causes a bit of a ruckus. And where the local optician or butcher shop, which sponsors the event, gives away a pair of glasses or a string of black puddings to the MVP (Chicho, from Isabel).

The fair. With its carousels, the fighting bull, the octopus and other attractions that are more dangerous than sneezing with diarrhea… and that delight children, parents and young people in the early afternoon, when the effects of the previous night's feasting begin to subside.

The popular orchestra. They might play El Tiburón or La Quinta Estación, and they'll dress it all up with frilly shirts and OT-style choreography (the original). For some reason, all the orchestras in Spain are still stuck in 2001 (and it freaks us out).

The verbena. With two distinct phases: a) spinning reggaeton, perrêa, and Latin hits; and b) playing the old classics that EVERYONE claims to hate for the other 11 months of the year but unconditionally LOVES in August. Long live the pasodoble and Paquito el Chocolatero!

The after-party. Where local traditions are already in operation: hardcore music, summer or winter snow romps among the bushes, bingo at the town hall,... . And so on until dawn.

HOW TO MERGE AND BECOME ONE WITH THE TOWN FESTIVALS

Going from tourist to honorary member of a village festival requires effort and dedication. If we had to summarize them, there would be three key points:

#1. Join a group

A "peña," "choco," or "local de los zagales"... what is it and how do you recognize it? Well, it's simply an abandoned garage, a construction shed with an asbestos roof, or the basement of some business... where the young people (and not so young) gather to get high before, during, and after the day's event.You will recognize them because inside they contain:

To members of the supporters' club, all dressed the same: with a colored vest, t-shirt, hat or random costume and with a very offensive name
A makeshift bar, either stolen or improvised, where beer kegs are tapped hour after hour and where EVERYONE is invited to drink. A threadbare, threadbare mattress that silently conceals too many stories of those that unfold after 5:00 AM.

#2 Learn the charangas

Or folk songs. Every town and region has one. ownYou don't need to memorize them right away. Just humming them out loud is enough...

#3. Embrace local cuisine

Breakfast is at 8:00 when you return from the festival (broken eggs, migas and three jugs before going to sleep...so that everything soaks up the liquid).

Around 3:00 PM it's time for the ranch: it can also be a stew or a popular paella... but the concept implies that everyone eats from plastic plates and from the same pot ALWAYS.

Since the plan is usually to be in the sun, we recommend bringing the Handsomefyer SUN so that only the calimocho gets you high, and not the sunstroke.

HANDSOMEFYER SUN

All-in-one cream for sunny days. Conceals pores, smooths wrinkles, moisturizes, evens skin tone, and has SPF 50.

Dinner is lighter: a black pudding/chorizo/longaniza sandwich before heading to the fair. And to show off your best clothes between the t-shirt and shorts, at least wear the Handsomefyer XTRA to partially hide the effect of the Minis on your face.

And then the late-night snack varies from hot chocolate, a cone of chips, or any fried treat served at the street stalls to help you stay afloat between liters of mysteriously flavored water. Because yes, at village festivals, people drink. A lot. All the time.

HANDSOMEFYER XTRA

All-in-one cream with extra coverage. It covers pores and wrinkles, moisturizes and evens skin tone.

WE'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH (SO MUCH)

We've been waiting for this time of year for two years. TikTok has been filled with things like #TownFestivities or #Verbena where people nostalgically evoke what they always were and what they always will be.

And we haven't fully recovered. Among the most well-known, this year will see the cancellation of San Fermín, La Tomatina, the Semana Grande festivals in Bilbao and San Sebastián, the Haro Wine Battle, and others.

But there are beginning to be glimmers of hope: the Malaga fairs and Almería, some late ones Faults in September… or the names of hundreds and hundreds of patron saint festivals in tiny villages abandoned for the rest of the year, which multiply their population and divide their average age by a few days to the sound of the Kuduro dance.

If you can't enjoy them this year, here's one playlist to evoke them in conditions: