Masculinities…relaxed…
- They didn't even cry with Pixar movies
- They knew how to repair a catalyst and a hose
- They smiled rather little
Rivers of ink have flowed about what we should NOT be and its negative consequences, but... now there is no manual like in IKEA. What can we be? How to fit in?
Today, on the occasion of Men's Day, we talk about positive, relaxed, hard-working masculinities... and our contradictions.
“Traditional” masculinity is an outdated meme ✅
Our grandparents (men) had to be brave, successful, strong, providers, guardians, loyal, stable, hermetic, independent... capable of killing a 🦁 with their hands and owners of a square jaw.
In summary; a GigaChad ; a fucking meme.
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First because few of us fit into that mold. Many act as if they do, but most of us feel silently uncomfortable with everything that is expected of us.
- And second, because of the negative consequences of these expectations. It is often called "silenced problems" and has to do with mental health, emotional repression, the refusal to establish ties with others, the difficulty of ask for help... and with high rates of addictions, depression, anxiety, violence and suicide.
The new masculinities are about opening options and letting your hair down
- To BTS , the MOST well-known and successful men's group in history, overcoming the traditional roles of “wet panties” boy-bands.
- To Bad Bunny or Harry Styles, successful superstars who wear skirts and paint their nails without complexes
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Sex toys for men as alternative ways to explore sexuality and make love to yourself
- ….
Little things, in short, for which a few decades ago you would have ended up burned at the stake or eaten by lions.
The unfinished business: that we are ALL in trouble 🧄
- Your colleague who gets upset because you're so low or changes the subject when you shed a tear because you're upset or down.
- Your father, who doesn't want to talk to you about the crazy anxiety you're carrying and says “it's not that big of a deal.”
- The gang at school with whom you bullied someone (if not the victim).
- Your job where only those who have a certain type of behavior get promoted.
- When you comment at the bar about how 'bitches' those from Temptation Island are and how 'figures' they are.
- You, who have ever said 'you need so many balls to...' coupled with any competitive demonstration of virility... for the sake of laughter.
- ...
Are you always equally free? Do you behave the same in front of your colleagues as you do at home with your grandmother? And at work or at work?
A relaxed masculinity will never be such, until you can behave as you think and want in EVERY and every one of your contexts. But step by step, conquest by conquest.
The first, right now, completely banish the dodgy things. The second; open all possibilities, discover and self-invent yourself. And finally, choose what we want to be and how we feel most comfortable being…in all contexts.
PS: This week's post is sponsored by our Handsomefyer XTRA . Because we also want to go, when we feel like it, mega-made up and looking cute... and that 👏🏽 it 👏🏽 not 👏🏽 the metal and paint. To monopolize flashes and selfies.
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We do cool right!
