Masculinities…relaxed…


Being a man in the times of our grandfathers was one thing (one thing and nothing more): ugly, strong and formal. Some more handsome, others less... but almost always

  • They didn't even cry with Pixar movies 
  • They knew how to repair a catalyst and a hose 
  • They smiled rather little    
Moving forward ⏩ to today... we assume that the vast majority of us are aware of the dodgy things that those corseted molds brought.

Rivers of ink have flowed about what we should NOT be and its negative consequences, but... now there is no manual like in IKEA. What can we be? How to fit in?   

Today, on the occasion of Men's Day, we talk about positive, relaxed, hard-working masculinities... and our contradictions.



“Traditional” masculinity is an outdated meme ✅

Our grandparents (men) had to be brave, successful, strong, providers, guardians, loyal, stable, hermetic, independent... capable of killing a 🦁 with their hands and owners of a square jaw.    

In summary; a GigaChad ; a fucking meme.

But that meme is a bit outdated.   

  • First because few of us fit into that mold. Many act as if they do, but most of us feel silently uncomfortable with everything that is expected of us. 

  • And second, because of the negative consequences of these expectations. It is often called "silenced problems" and has to do with mental health, emotional repression, the refusal to establish ties with others, the difficulty of ask for help... and with high rates of addictions, depression, anxiety, violence and suicide. 


The new masculinities are about opening options and letting your hair down 

If the old masculinity was few things, very solid and anti-"what is for girls"; The new masculinities are about the opposite: trying, adding and experimenting without barriers. For example, several buttons. Today we have:   


  • To BTS , the MOST well-known and successful men's group in history, overcoming the traditional roles of “wet panties” boy-bands. 

  • To Bad Bunny or Harry Styles, successful superstars who wear skirts and paint their nails without complexes 

  • Sex toys for men as alternative ways to explore sexuality and make love to yourself

  • ….

via GIPHY

Little things, in short, for which a few decades ago you would have ended up burned at the stake or eaten by lions. 

The unfinished business: that we are ALL in trouble 🧄

It can do and be anything you want and that is in your hand...   Or not. Because she is also in others. We are not going to discover the Mediterranean here if we tell you that a large part of the “fault” of the corset that men have suffered for centuries lies with… The men themselves.

  • Your colleague who gets upset because you're so low or changes the subject when you shed a tear because you're upset or down. 
  • Your father, who doesn't want to talk to you about the crazy anxiety you're carrying and says “it's not that big of a deal.” 
  • The gang at school with whom you bullied someone (if not the victim).
  • Your job where only those who have a certain type of behavior get promoted. 
  • When you comment at the bar about how 'bitches' those from Temptation Island are and how 'figures' they are. 
  • You, who have ever said 'you need so many balls to...' coupled with any competitive demonstration of virility... for the sake of laughter. 
  • ...
Being a 'man' is built in community. 

via GIPHY

It is your group of colleagues, people from work, family members... who give you back from a young age an image with which you end up identifying.


Are you always equally free? Do you behave the same in front of your colleagues as you do at home with your grandmother? And at work or at work?   

A relaxed masculinity will never be such, until you can behave as you think and want in EVERY and every one of your contexts.     But step by step, conquest by conquest.    

The first, right now, completely banish the dodgy things.  The second; open all possibilities, discover and self-invent yourself. And finally, choose what we want to be and how we feel most comfortable being…in all contexts.


PS: This week's post is sponsored by our Handsomefyer XTRA . Because we also want to go, when we feel like it, mega-made up and looking cute... and that 👏🏽 it 👏🏽 not 👏🏽 the metal and paint. To monopolize flashes and selfies.

HANDSOMEFYER XTRA

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Siwon
We do cool right!


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