#SinFiltros vacation manual
Man is the only animal that trips over the same stone twice... but you and I eat up the Rock of Gibraltar every time the holidays come.
Every year we fantasize about an impossible-exclusive and all-inclusive luxury…
…And, in the end, we ended up with a suitcase full of vacation clichés that would not even pass the Ryanair filter: queues at 40º in the shade for the beach bar, little beaches where not even the umbrella pole fits, 45 minutes looking for parking near that “secret” cove that turns out to be more crowded than Lolita's wedding…
So this time we have marked 
Step 1. The dates: the high season is for parents 😶🌫️
Veteran vacationers will tell you that it is better to take a vacation in September or June. That everything is cheaper, that there is not so much trouble, that it is not so hot...
Spoiler alert: 47 million people think the same thing. At this point in life, every day is high season... so take your vacation when it's cool for you.
Step 2. The destination: less wanderlust, more “we are all tourists” 🤠
There is no greater myth than destinations without tourists wearing fanny packs, sandals and “dark” bricklayers. What's more, whether you are having a spiritual connection in India, taking a refreshing drink in Soria or visiting exotic destinations...if you can't find guiris...the guiris is you 🙃.
Better stop looking for destinations to deflower and choose according to the mood you need: beach, backpacking, partying , total disconnection, reconnecting with colleagues...
Step 3. The suitcase: like the Martirio, neat but informal 🤔
Swimsuits, glasses, flip flops... a book; well no, better two just in case. Sneakers in case you feel like running, a coat in case it gets cold...
We pack our bags as if we were going to move and register under an umbrella. You don't have enough room and Ryanair scolds you? Well, then maybe you have to do a Mari Kondo… or get a bigger suitcase.
Of course: the kit to look really hot , because you can go casual but not with a bad face for life (or so they say). And don't miss out on the sun cream in one hand and the mojito in the other.
Step 4. Wherever you go, the posture does not fail 😏
Instagram these months looks like an advertisement for a travel agency: classmates from uni in Tarifa, a work buddy doing a report at the hotel buffet, your cousin broadcasting live his road trip through Portugal...
What's not in the photo? The early morning to park on the beach, the cardboard hotel walls that leave nothing to the imagination (yes, yes, we've heard it all) or the anger when you get lost with the caravan and not even Google Maps can find you.
Step #5. Planning: when you need a vacation from vacation 😌
To those of you who go from being full of work to being full of activities, excursions and a to-do list: we have to talk.
The idea is that you can enjoy yourself without going through all the Google lists like “everything you have to see in Conchinchina in 48 hours.”
Our advice? Plan the minimums to meet YOUR expectations (e.g. a paella at 3:00 p.m.) and still survive. For everything else: go on strike against yourself, throw yourself into trouble (and whatever else arises), let yourself be carried away by the dolce far niente , take one of those naps that leave your pillow covered in drool and live your vacation as if you were on an eternal day off.
Step #6: The return: Monday I start… the depression 🥴
The truth is, we have not yet found remedies for this.
We get nostalgic, unpacking our suitcase, looking at the gallery on our cell phone as if it were going to take us back like a hatcopter... and trying hard not to look for laughter every time someone says, “Well, you haven't gotten that dark.”
The only consolation we have left?
We will suffer a little counting the days until next time... but until then we will gladly enjoy this little face with the effect "how good your vacation has been for you" that we have left... and without having to bathe in After Sun. 😜💦
PD: And, of course, this week's post is sponsored by our
Handsomefyer Sun
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