Everyone’s Horny (and it’s not just the weather)

Over, under, against the wall, on top… wherever you look, it’s good vibes and bad ideas. People are over being repressed, bored, emotionally constipated. 
They’re ready. Ready to sweat, flirt, love and live again. 
This summer’s gonna be unhinged, and we’re here for it. 

🧠 PSEUDO-SCIENCE? HELL YEAH 🔮 

WE’VE GOT NO PROOF BUT ZERO DOUBTS. IT’S GONNA BE A HOT ONE. HERE’S WHY:

  • 2025 has been a lot. Rainy. Cold. Global drama. Economic chaos. A new Pope. The news feels like it was written by a Love Island contestant after three tequilas. We are mentally exhausted, and it’s only June.

  • Planet-wise? Full cosmic meltdown. 2 solar eclipses. 2 lunar ones. Meteor showers. All your chakras and shagras are vibrating at unsafe levels.

  • Sex toys sales are smashing records (€26 billion+), dating apps are overflowing, and sextech is going harder than a teenage boy watching Euphoria.


    Science can wait. Desire can’t. 

🌞 MORE THAN A SUMMER. A STATE OF MIND 🌞

It’s miniskirt season, maxi feelings, and four-hour love confessions with someone you met on a rooftop 18 minutes ago.While the media talk about climate doom and economic collapse, what you really want is a conscious f*ck, a radioactive mojito and maybe a cheeky tantric massage with a happy ending. 

We’re all vibing in that weird in-between: existential dread on Monday, serotonin explosion on Friday night. If the world’s ending, the only logical response is: Live louder. Sweat sexier. Snog more people. 

Sure, we’re calling it “summer vibes” now, but it might just be a new cultural shift. 
A counterrevolution of existential hedonism: Pleasure as rebellion. Joy as resistance. Meaning found in dancing with the void — with glitter on your collarbones and three strangers in your DMs.

💦 A SUMMER WETTER THAN IT IS ETHICAL 💦

Oops. Got carried away. 
This summer’s not about finding your life’s purpose or perfecting your LinkedIn profile. It’s about moisturising your body and your soul. 
About not wasting a single sunset behind a phone, a single fan-cooled beer garden, or a single dancefloor drenched in shared, sweaty happiness. 

The bodies are ready. The thirst is real. The excuses? On a gap year in Bali. 
As a wise man (or meme) once said: 

“Life’s short, the planet’s heating up, and you’re still too scared to send that DM?” 

SO TELL US… HOW FERAL ARE YOU GOING THIS SUMMER?

P.S.: Again, no burns allowed. With Handsomefyer Sun and Melonizer, you’re shielded from the sun and shining like an Ibiza afterparty. SPF50 protection, golden glow and extended tan in two very sexy tubes. 

Everyone’s Horny (and it’s not just the weather) 

Over, under, against the wall, on top… wherever you look, it’s good vibes and bad ideas. People are over being repressed, bored, emotionally constipated. They’re ready. Ready to sweat, flirt, love and live again. This summer’s gonna be unhinged, and we’re here for it. 

🧠 PSEUDO-SCIENCE? HELL YEAH 🔮 

WE’VE GOT NO PROOF BUT ZERO DOUBTS. IT’S GONNA BE A HOT ONE. 
HERE’S WHY: 

  • 2025 has been a lot. Rainy. Cold. Global drama. Economic chaos. A new Pope. The news feels like it was written by a Love Island contestant after three tequilas. We are mentally exhausted, and it’s only June.

  • Planet-wise? Full cosmic meltdown. 2 solar eclipses. 2 lunar ones. Meteor showers. All your chakras and shagras are vibrating at unsafe levels.

  • Sex toys sales are smashing records (€26 billion+), dating apps are overflowing, and sextech is going harder than a teenage boy watching Euphoria. 

    Science can wait. Desire can’t. 

🌞 MORE THAN A SUMMER. A STATE OF MIND 🌞

It’s miniskirt season, maxi feelings, and four-hour love confessions with someone you met on a rooftop 18 minutes ago.While the media talk about climate doom and economic collapse, what you really want is a conscious f*ck, a radioactive mojito and maybe a cheeky tantric massage with a happy ending. 

We’re all vibing in that weird in-between: existential dread on Monday, serotonin explosion on Friday night. If the world’s ending, the only logical response is: Live louder. Sweat sexier. Snog more people. 

Sure, we’re calling it “summer vibes” now, but it might just be a new cultural shift. 
A counterrevolution of existential hedonism: Pleasure as rebellion. Joy as resistance. Meaning found in dancing with the void — with glitter on your collarbones and three strangers in your DMs. 

 

💦 A SUMMER WETTER THAN IT IS ETHICAL  💦

Oops. Got carried away. 

This summer’s not about finding your life’s purpose or perfecting your LinkedIn profile. It’s about moisturising your body and your soul. 
About not wasting a single sunset behind a phone, a single fan-cooled beer garden, or a single dancefloor drenched in shared, sweaty happiness. 

The bodies are ready. The thirst is real. The excuses? On a gap year in Bali. 
As a wise man (or meme) once said: 

“Life’s short, the planet’s heating up, and you’re still too scared to send that DM?” 

 

SO TELL US… HOW FERAL ARE YOU GOING THIS SUMMER?

P.S.: Again, no burns allowed. With Handsomefyer Sun and Melonizer, you’re shielded from the sun and shining like an Ibiza afterparty. SPF50 protection, golden glow and extended tan in two very sexy tubes.

Handsomefyer Sun

All-in-1 cream for outdoor plans.

Hides pores, smooths wrinkles and balances out your skin tone with broad spectrum (UVA+UVB) SPF50 solar protection.

36,99 €

BUY NOW

Melonizer

Aftersun with tan extender effect.
Repairs, calms and moisturizes your after-sun-day skin. On top, it intensifies and extends your tan.

25,99 €

BUY NOW

Handsomefyer Sun

All-in-1 cream for outdoor plans.

Hides pores, smooths wrinkles and balances out your skin tone with broad spectrum (UVA+UVB) SPF50 solar protection.

36,99 €

BUY NOW

Melonizer

Aftersun with tan extender effect.
Repairs, calms and moisturizes your after-sun-day skin. On top, it intensifies and extends your tan.

25,99 €

BUY NOW