Title

THE 7 AESTHETIC FEARS OF MEN
Title

As Halloween looms, it’s high time we spill the beans on those aesthetic fears every bloke secretly harbours. Monsters that scare the bejesus out of us at every corner, making our legs, hearts, and... well, other bits quiver.

HALLOWEEN IS ALL ABOUT THE FEARS

What’s Halloween about?

Little scares, obviously. 

It’s not just a bash filled with fun and frolics. 

It’s not all about carved pumpkins, cheeky costumes, sweet treats and the “trick or treat” ritual through the neighbourhood (physically or a cheeky swipe on Tinder late at night). Behind all that black sugar and zombie garb is a real statement: for one night, we laugh in the face of everything that scares us. So today seems the perfect day to list the aesthetic fears that pierce us as men and to share them out loud. 

A genuine effort of research, journalism and cobbling together surveys from Reddit, Twitter and ones we’ve totally made up. Let's see how many of these you nod along with:

TOP 7 AESTHETIC FEARS OF MEN 

1. GOING BALD

Running your hand through your hair and finding a souvenir between your fingers — we dread ending up looking more like a Bond villain than The Rock or Vin Diesel. There’s no greater fear for a man, nor a business that pumps more money into the economy of certain sunny countries — oh, the joys of a "long weekend" in Turkey returning with more hair than you left with! 

2. THE GUT THAT WON’T GO AWAY

Packing on a few isn’t just about gaining weight… it’s that slow process where your once trim body starts to develop permanent soft spots in strategic locations: a Michelin man under the belly, love handles that kidnap your waist... a multi-faceted horror show.

3. WEREWOLF 2.0

Or having hairy ears. Also counts for the vines starting to sprout in your nostrils, the velvety eardrum, or those odd tufts sprouting in places where there was nothing before. Rumour has it the next documentary by Louis Theroux will be titled: swimmers who shave like Ken; is it a fad to shave milliseconds off at the local pool or a covert marketing ploy by hair removal clinics? 

4. GREY HAIRS

“Grey hairs make men look distinguished and sexy." We agree... but the journey there’s a pain. First, you spot a thin white line among your Samson locks. Then they multiply. Finally, your first grey hair... down there? Melanin is merciless and democratic.

5. WRINKLES

Crow’s feet are just the tip of the iceberg, but there are also those two lines around your moustache or the perpetually furrowed brow. There are many ways to handle and mitigate these terrors (and accepting them is the healthiest). 

6. FAILURE TO LAUNCH 

Not being able to... get going. The whole alpha male thing is ingrained, and in the sack, we’ve been taught to be orgasm-centric and thrust-focused. A flop is as normal as rain in Manchester (stress, mental stuff, you name it), but when it hits us... major downer. 

7. NOT BEING SEEN... (AS YOU WANT TO BE SEEN) 

Fear of making a tit of yourself. Breaking unwritten rules. Standing out too much. Not standing out enough. Not fitting in or your look not fitting. Looking insecure. Feeling insecure... 

LAUGHING IN THE FACE OF FEAR 

All these fears... and many more we're probably forgetting... boil down to one: the fear of being vulnerable. Of being 'less' because you don’t measure up to what's “right.” 'Right' because we’ve been told so, swallowed it with our cornflakes since we were nippers, and convinced ourselves it's “the norm.” 

Because yes; sometimes, we tell ourselves the scariest horror flick ever seen and lock ourselves a bit in it. So, at least for tonight, "it's alright" to open up to a world without complexes. 

And dress up as a creepy clown, flirt with the over-the-top vampire... exaggerate, grab attention, embracing your fears (even if they scare the crap out of us). 

 

P.S.: This week’s post is sponsored by our fear-busting cream WOW YOUNG. It won’t turn back the clock or regrow your hair, but it lets you enjoy another Halloween looking in photos just like you did ten years ago. 
Title
Title

THE 7 AESTHETIC FEARS OF MEN
Title

As Halloween looms, it’s high time we spill the beans on those aesthetic fears every bloke secretly harbours. Monsters that scare the bejesus out of us at every corner, making our legs, hearts, and... well, other bits quiver. 

HALLOWEEN IS ALL ABOUT THE FEARS

What’s Halloween about?

Little scares, obviously. 

It’s not just a bash filled with fun and frolics. 

It’s not all about carved pumpkins, cheeky costumes, sweet treats and the “trick or treat” ritual through the neighbourhood (physically or a cheeky swipe on Tinder late at night). Behind all that black sugar and zombie garb is a real statement: for one night, we laugh in the face of everything that scares us. So today seems the perfect day to list the aesthetic fears that pierce us as men and to share them out loud. 

A genuine effort of research, journalism and cobbling together surveys from Reddit, Twitter and ones we’ve totally made up. Let's see how many of these you nod along with: 

 

TOP 7 AESTHETIC FEARS OF MEN

1. TO GO BALD

When we run our hands through our hair and are left with hairs between our fingers, we believe that our destiny will be more like that of Juan Cuesta or the bad guy from Austin Powers than that of The Rock or Vin Diesel. And there is no greater fear for every man nor economic activity that contributes more to the GDP of Türkiye . Even dreaming that you stay bald , it is a symptom that you are feeling down and a little depressed.

2. A BELLY THAT WON'T GO AWAY

Fofarte. It's not strictly about gaining weight... that too, but rather that slow process by which your healthy body that could eat whatever it wanted starts to develop perennial flaccidities in strategic places: a love handle below the abdomen, love-hangers that hold the waist in place (in urban slang), a hanging forearm... multi-faceted terror in all its splendor.

3. WEREWOLF 2.0

Or having hairy ears. We can also count on the vines that start to appear in the nostrils, the plush eardrum or the isolated tufts of hair that start to appear in areas where there was nothing years ago. It is rumoured that the next documentary that Gloria Serra is preparing is called: swimmers who shave like Ken; a fashion to earn thousands in the municipal swimming pool or a covert marketing campaign by the No+Vello franchises?

4. GRAY HAIR

“Gray hair makes mature men sexy” We agree… but the journey… is a pain. First you see a thin white line between your Samson-like mane. Then it multiplies. Then you get your first gray hair… on your body…? …on your chest? The final milestone: your first gray hair in your balls. Melanin doesn’t lie and it’s democratic… we all run out of it sooner or later.

5. WRINKLES

Crow's feet are the tip of the eyebrows, but there are also those two indentations around the moustache or the permanently furrowed brow. As we know, there are many ways to deal with and alleviate these terrors ( and accepting them is the healthiest of them ).

6. NOT TO COMPLY

Nor getting hard. Because we already know that being a male stud is deeply ingrained in our heads and in sex we have been taught to be cum-centric and thruster-focused.

Misfires are one of the things that we all understand as the most normal in life (due to stress, mental disturbances, just because...) but the day it happens to us... it's completely crazy.

7. NOT TO BE SEEN... (HOW YOU WANT TO BE SEEN)

Fear of making a fool of yourself. Of breaking unwritten rules. Of standing out too much. Of not standing out enough. Of not fitting in or your appearance not fitting in. Of appearing insecure. Of feeling insecure…

LAUGHING IN THE FACE OF FEAR 

All these fears... and many more we're probably forgetting... boil down to one: the fear of being vulnerable. Of being 'less' because you don’t measure up to what's “right.” 'Right' because we’ve been told so, swallowed it with our cornflakes since we were nippers, and convinced ourselves it's “the norm.” 

Because yes; sometimes, we tell ourselves the scariest horror flick ever seen and lock ourselves a bit in it. So, at least for tonight, "it's alright" to open up to a world without complexes. 

And dress up as a creepy clown, flirt with the over-the-top vampire... exaggerate, grab attention, embracing your fears (even if they scare the crap out of us). 

 

P.S.: This week’s post is sponsored by our fear-busting cream WOW YOUNG. It won’t turn back the clock or regrow your hair, but it lets you enjoy another Halloween looking in photos just like you did ten years ago. 

 

WOW-YOUNG

Anti-age night cream with retinol

Minimizes wrinkles, expression lines and combats acne

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WOW-YOUNG

Anti-age night cream with retinol

Minimizes wrinkles, expression lines and combats acne

BUY NOW