HOT VAX SUMMER! The sluttiest summer of our lives is coming
Unless you've spent the last year and a half hiding in a cave, you already know that most of humanity has spent the last year and a half... hiding in a cave 😅.
It's been a… strange year. Like low. Very dodgy.
So now that the vaccination campaign is underway and having experienced everything (even Esperanza Aguirre appearing on Mask Singer ), we only have to party .
And in style. Everywhere you look there is an atmosphere of total revelry. Peña who has been repressed, inhibited, turned off for a long time. There is a desire to party.
Bienvenido al “hot vax summer” 🔥
This summer the body asks for mambo Nº5 (yes, I said 5)
The term 'hot vax summer' has been in the press for several weeks . Translated into Spanish it means “the slutty summer of the vaccine”, something like the desire to give us everything... And everywhere... .
Because you may have had a partner to console you all this time (if you haven't killed each other along the way) but... what about single people? Has no one thought about the blue eggs of bachelors?
There haven't been enough purring nights in 2020; to go down to the nearest bar, what if a glance here, what if an “I'll buy you a drink” there, what if you come to the bathroom for a moment...
So now it's time for sex and debauchery. A lot of debauchery.
People are horny and that's true because I say it, my multiple personalities, imaginary friends, this month's Quore test... and because SCIENCE says it: more sex toys are being sold than ever and the use of applications to flirt has skyrocketed to unimaginable levels .
You might think, “ oh yeah, but people are already used to fending for themselves .” And I tell you: ERROR!!!! Do you know which are the most popular profiles currently on Tinder? Those that include the word “ vaccinated ” in their description.
Ready, willing and open minded (and legs)
Do you remember that suffocating feeling of opening the doors of the nightclub and hitting the invisible wall of sweat, hormones and fluids floating in the air?
Do you remember that before you ran away from all that?
Well, it seems to me that this summer is going to be just the opposite: a desire to party, to meet people, to get back into ovens of sweat and substances at late hours in the morning with two hundred other people.
And we are preparing body and mind for it. One of the most buoyant industries right now is cosmetic surgery ( we are tuning ourselves up to come out of the pandemic looking good and making a living) and the percentage of people open to going on a date with a stranger, after historic lows, It is already above 60%.
Furthermore, statistically, we are “ hungry to touch each other ” (to touch each other, rather), to the point that we are more willing than ever to have casual sexual relations. The dust of a night whose name you will not remember and about which you will never hear anything else in your life? Well, even the most curillas are working this summer.
The energy repressed for months is such that “hot vax summer” falls short of defining the phenomenon. Much better to talk about "puti-summer" , or that rare moment in which we all don't care eight or eighty, a wild orgy in an abandoned industrial estate doesn't seem like such a bad idea, and the freedom of helmets is better socially valued than being a good, formal and well-groomed boy.
The formality is cold. And the people are warm.
Will the happy, hot, foxy '20s be repeated?
If all this sounds crazy to you, think that there is a historical precedent: the Roaring Twenties.
It's not that the war ended and people looked at Cuenca at all hours, but there was some merriment and debauchery. In fact, the idea of the fox summer extends to the entire decade: experts predict an economic decade that will also be quite slutty, with everything growing big and wild.
2020 was the year we put our lives on pause. And it was fucked. We stopped seeing other people, we confined ourselves to our homes, and we became terrified of everything that had previously made us happy. We have not lost our desire , they have been there in the background, macerating, getting bigger and bigger.
This summer is about opening the floodgates for all the good things to come in again. She was already playing.
PS: and since for all those plans you are going to need tuning, you already know that we will take care of your face with our Handsomefye r normal or XTRA , which is how it is fixed.
Siwon
We do cool right
