Who doesn’t love a good… village fête?

WE DREAM OF VILLAGE FÊTE

Whether you’re from the coast, the countryside, a city break budget or an all-inclusive mindset, there’s one summer event etched into the national memory (and sometimes the liver): the good old British summer fête.

The bunting. The raffle. The dodgems. The beer tent. If you’ve got “a village” to your name — or have adopted one — you know exactly what we mean.

THE ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF A PROPER VILLAGE FÊTE

Every parish has its quirks, but for it to count as a true fête, it needs all of the following, in roughly this order:

THE COMPETITION TENT. Be it a pub quiz, a tombola, or the fiercely contested Victoria sponge bake-off. Where the local cricket team arrives hungover, the neighbouring village’s team stirs the pot, and the sponsor (usually the local butcher or optician) hands the winner a meat hamper or free eye test.
THE FUNFAIR. Complete with waltzers, bumper cars, hook-a-duck, and other rides with more risk than sneezing with a full pint in your hand. Fun for kids, parents, and the slightly delicate crowd nursing a hangover from the night before.
THE LIVE BAND. Capable of switching from Sweet Caroline to Dua Lipa at alarming speed, all while wearing matching glitter waistcoats and questionable hats.

THE EVENING DANCE. Two clear phases: a) chart hits and cheesy floor-fillers, and b) the “guilty pleasures” playlist — the songs everyone swears they hate for 11 months, but scream along to come August.
THE AFTER-PARTY. Local traditions take over: hardcore drum & bass in the pub car park, awkward summer snogs behind the marquee, or a fiercely competitive bingo in the town hall. All until sunrise.

HOW TO BLEND IN LIKE A LOCAL

Becoming more than “the outsider from the next village over” takes commitment. The 3 keys are:

#JOIN A CREW

In rural Britain, this is your pub team, bell-ringing group, or the slightly chaotic gang who run the beer tent. Recognise them by:

Matching T-shirts or fancy dress with questionable slogans.

A fully stocked bar (usually an old fridge plugged into an extension lead).

At least one battered sofa that’s seen things it will never tell.

#2 LEARN THE LOCAL SONGS

Every village has a few classics. No need to memorise the lyrics — loud humming is absolutely fine.

#3 EMBRACE THE FOOD & DRINK

Breakfast is at 8am on your way home from the dance (full English, plus a pint, for “soakage”).
Lunch around 1pm: could be a hog roast or community BBQ — always eaten from paper plates, always shared straight from the same serving dish.
Dinner is a quick bacon sarnie before heading to the fairground.
The “late-night bite” is anything fried or sugary from a stall, to keep you upright between rounds of “mystery punch” that everyone pretends to know the recipe for.
And yes, in village fêtes, you drink. A lot. At all hours.

#NATIONAL TREASURES

From Glastonbury’s smaller, cleaner cousins, to the Shrewsbury Flower Show, to hundreds of tiny fêtes that double the village population for a weekend and halve the average age — they’re all part of our cultural heritage.

But if you can, hug them. Because they're family, they're home, they're ours... and messing with them is anathema.

P.S.: For a well-played fête — where only the Pimm’s hits you and not the sunburn — grab our Handsomefyer Sun SPF 50.

Fits in your bum bag or fancy-dress costume.
Hides the effects of too many ciders.
Gives you that “I’m totally fine” filter for surprise encounters.